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Our parents and caregivers’ voices are the first we hear, and in childhood, their words echo the most strongly in our minds.
I was brought up in an environment where I wasn’t allowed to express my anger, and if I did, it was viewed as rude.
So from a young age, I grew up knowing that I wasn’t supposed to express my anger or talk with anyone about it.
When someone annoyed me at high school, I would go quiet, suppress all the anger, try to ignore the feeling, and later start resenting the person.
I held many grudges against my schoolmates.
That was my life. I got angry, suppressed how I felt, ignored my emotions, so I didn’t annoy others or create drama, and hid (or numbed) my feelings.
I finished high school, went to campus, and continued doing the same thing
Even when I started dating, I used the same method of processing anger.
And when I finally married, I carried on using the same method of processing my anger and negative emotions.
I kept repeating the same cycle: ignore, numb, suppress, and then resent the person.
This was followed by unhealthy venting to my friends, while I drowned in self-pity and wondered if there was a better way of going about it.
I didn’t realize that by doing this, I was harming myself more than ever; I thought people were the problem.
But I learnt people weren’t the problem, the problem was how I processed my anger.
It was unhealthy. I had issues with many people because I resented them, held grudges against them, and carried this rage with me all these years, thinking they were the problem.
I finally found freedom in my life when I learned to manage my anger and negative emotions.
I started releasing all the grudges I had. I forgave my family members who’d disappointed me beyond imagination.
I don’t blame my caretakers or parents for this. Maybe it was the only way they knew how to respond; perhaps, their parents raised them this way, too. There could be thousands of reasons for this.
I love my parents/caretakers, and I can learn from their methods. I’ll be sure not to teach my kids to process anger this way.
Maybe you also process your anger and other negative emotions in an unhealthy way because it’s the only way you know.
You can see it is ruining your life, career, and family, and you keep wondering if there’s any hope.
You wonder if there’s a way to live with less pain.
The truth is, there is, and I can help you with it. I can help you find a better way to manage your anger, so you can achieve inner peace, have fewer fights with your spouse, and bring up your kids without yelling.
Click this link https://linktr.ee/fridahoward to book a free 45 minutes call, let’s have a chat
Click the link in the bio to book a free 45 minutes call, let’s have a chat
Or DM me the word ’emotions’.